Ways to beat the office pervert

A blog entry suggested by my colleague and here’re my thoughts:-

How to stop the pervert from wolf-ing around in the office:

1. Warn him or get his buddies who aren’t fellow wolves to counsel him


2. Button your blouse all the way up (check that no buttons foul up), or simply go for the turtle neck


3. Wear stockings/leggings even if you dress is more than a metre long


4. Studs, nails n needles are in, look for those with these latest designs on the shoulders, waist... wherever he's most likely to put his arms around.
5. Step on his foot with your esp. with your stilettos if he sneaks up to you from your back. Just on his ‘foot’ and not ‘feet’ cuz you may lose your balance and end up in his arms


6. Roll your chair over his feet if he sneaks up from behind your seat


7. if he tries to get fresh with you, lure him to a crowded place like the pantry, where there's also hot boiling water


8. If he snaps your photo (of anything u consider an outrage of modesty), ask for a copy via email with the sweetest smile, then foward it to HR – straight to the director


9. Passively, wait for him to prey on queen bee
10. Kick him in the crotch as a last resort?
    

More suggestions welcome!

Merry Crimbo and may you stay away from all wolves!

No shallow pig

I’m not just some shallow pig who talks carp and bitches about people. I believe I’ve some achievements which I can safely call them my own:

I started off this theme dressing thing within the department, which got some other gals in other departments excited and joining in.

The whole thing started off as a revolution – we were so pissed off with our boss (the daily talk show host) that I decided we should wear the colour that disgusted him most – red to irritate him. The only guy in the department (besides the host) then only had blues (which he still does) n could only participate on blue dress themes. Even his ties are BLUE. Boring.

Subsequently, it became a weekly thing in the department and people actually asked what was next, so that they could come dressed for the theme. The subculture had died off but for annual office parties, they still adopted my idea on the dress theme for the year.

Within the department of now (new people), we are just contented if we managed to fake a smile at some people.

Farewell and Hello

Over the weekend, I bade another friend farewell. She has completed her studies in Singapore and went back home, perhaps for a long break.

I brought her to Arab Street together with some other friends. The morrocan meal was always enjoyable but on top of that, we discovered a hidden talent at Zam Zam when we went there for supper! I’ve never seen a man who could carry a stack of 50 cups up to the 2nd floor with two bare hands. He could easily lift 10-20 plates of pratas, murtabaks… on a tray. I was so awed that I forgot to take out my camera to capture these stunning moments. Anyway, my friend managed to help me take a photo with him.

Foreign talent!!!

Memorable Gifts

It’s once again X’mas – the season for excuse to share and exchange gifts!
I had a gift exchange with my colleagues last Friday and confidently gave away the most irritating gift of the evening. I was quite sure of that even before the exchange.

Nope, not these. The brown lump was actually a nice reindeer beanie if I remembered correctly.

Yes! This was the useful springcleaning set – duster and a sheet of facial mask – no better way to start a new year! Lee Ying was the lucky winner of my practical gift. See how happy she was! Bet she was admiring the gift set over the weekend.

On the receiving end, I’ve gotten many gifts, some more memorable than others but none as impressive as the one from my colleague – a (probably made in china) recycled cushion. It’s unique in that it is some sort of a piggy with 2 tiny hands, of which one is stained with something brownish, most likely chocolate from her son’s hands. The mouth is also slightly soiled, maybe the cushion piggy was feasting on chocolates and basking in medicated oil? The gift came with good finishing – crumpled wrapper (which her son had to take the rap for) and china-looking bag.

If anyone needs a cushion, let me know. The piggy is pretty fat and comfy for your feet. Recycling can help save the environment!

I stopped taking part in the company’s gift exchange this year, knowing my luck, I am better off buying something I fancy with the $10. I don’t need another feet cushion even though I want to do my bit for the environment.

People come, people go

Yes, people come and go. “People” to me refers to worthy beings, even pets and esp. dogs. For others when fall outside this range, I simply ignore them. The challenge is how to spot good people and make them my friends and keep them, through food, shopping, gossips… and learn to bid them farewell when the time comes or even when I didn’t realize it, let alone prepare for it.

The other challenge is to learn to welcome (at least superficially) people into my life through food and maybe gossips, hopefully get rid of them ASAP and pretend to look sad about losing them.

Neither has been easy to achieve for me. The closest is to stay emotionally detached e.g not keeping another dog.

A man of depth (内涵)

This the limited edition McDull shower gel my friends in HK bought me. He’s now sitting happily in the toilet of my house, like the way some priceless trophies of award winning celebrities reside permanently in the toilet. But he is unique and draws constant attention – my sis pumps out the gel violently or slaps him on the cheek, and my mum likes to lift and weigh him whenever she notices him the bathroom. Our only worry is the content inside him runs out too quickly. Refill? Maybe not, I can’t bear the sight of him being covered in dove shower cream or hand soap in the long run.

BTW, notice how dirty my wall is? So please do not come and visit.

X’mas gift DIY

A gift is more than just dollars and cents. It should be from the heart. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. This x’mas, one lucky acquaintance not friend) will receive this beautifully hand altered gift from me.

Original product (Gift from Shanghai which has weird colour combi)


In transition (torn apart, with some yellow fabric still lining th backside of the panda - looking like he jus finished toileting). But i think they look better divorced. The panda's quite cute.


One of the many possibilities


The masterpiece - using convenient resources


For those with less heart/ more money, they can go shopping. I may wanna stick to my online shopping. BTW, the t-shirt i ordered from gmarket.com.sg on tuesday arrived yesteday. Maybe the supplier stays nearby? Looks pretty good, yah (except for my messy hair - the photographer not pro to advise her model)? except that the fabric not fully cotton, so not perfectly comfortable. Anyway, it's CHEAP. Lotsa stuff from clothes to accessories to mask, and perhaps sanitary pads one day if i haven't spotted them cuz of the overwhelming flash animation. All pictures are just calling out to you. Train your eyesight first b4 you visit the site.

Some good stuff to share

Good things are meant to be shared, except for McDull and his pork.

1) Lots of cheap and good stuff on gmarket.com.sg, esp Korean stuff. A colleague recommended the site to me. I recently bought a long t-shirt from the site. All inclusive of shipment @$8.90 (dirt cheap! - pee ga LS). Will let you know when my order arrives safely…or if there’s a credit card fraud.

It’s addictive like facebook in the beginning – I’ve to browse the site after lunch every day, besides my daily ritual of visiting job sites.

2) Here’s a lip balm from C.O. Bigelow I like very much.

First got it as a x’mas present from my friend in Canada. I also asked a colleague/friend (?) who recently who went to US for a holiday to help buy it for me and she got me 3 (the full range)! I love the pink tint and looking forward to using the (transparent?) peppermint and magenta ones. Glides nicely on my lips and it helps to cover your bad breath if you’re so unlucky to have that… Should be safe cuz not made in China. Most importantly, it's yummy! And it’s only US$7.50 each but if you think it’s too expensive, you can buy used ones which I realized are available on ebay – Friends and esp unfriends, feel free let me know if you want one of these for x’mas, happy to buy if for you.

3) Channel 8 production of the year 《当我们同在一起》- a drama serials about Singaporean from the 30s (I think) – can watch it if you can tahan the accent and storyline.
My mum faithfully watches it every day. 50% of the leading actors are from PRC and spoke weird English and Malay here and there. But like my sis said, it’s totally acceptable cuz our forefathers came to Nanyang at about those times. Er... i categorically say that my grandparents were from Macau, then a colony of Portugal. The PRCs around us may/will be the forefathers to future Singaporeans – if they don’t abandon Singapore for better citizenships or global warming hasn’t killed all earthlings by then.

Let me know if there’re other good ‘lobangs’.